imagine if… we disagree
isn’t life more interesting when we challenge each other?
During 2020, I was posting information and questions about Covid treatments on social media when an old friend reached out to insist I “stop spoiling her happy Facebook feed”. My response was a recommendation to ‘unfollow for less’. While I had anticipated that I might be ‘shadow banned’ by Facebook - the so-called fact checkers were pretty much censoring anything that wasn’t aligned to the mainstream news - I hadn’t realised that our collective ability to listen to disparate voices was so fragile.
It got me thinking at a deeper level about freedom of speech and what it really means to our relationships. When did it become important for everyone to agree? Isn’t life much more interesting when we challenge each other, accept our individuality and agree to disagree?
Freedom of speech is a principle that supports the freedom of an individual or a community to articulate their opinions and ideas without fear of retaliation, censorship, or legal sanction. The right to freedom of expression has been recognised as a human right in the Universal Declaration of Human Rights and international human rights law by the United Nations. Many countries have constitutional law that protects free speech. (Wikipedia)
In opposition to this basic human right, the Online Safety Bill was quietly passed in the UK in September 2023. It has been described as “one of the most far-reaching attempts by Western democracy to regulate online speech”. The outcome of passing this legislation will be to make some people think twice before they say anything controversial, while other people might find the level of censorship to be ridiculous and carry on regardless.
We all have the right to freedom of speech and yet most people censor themselves to some extent, depending on who they are speaking to. I overheard a conversation on the beach where two people were talking about dog breeds. The lady said, “I don’t like to ask what breed a dog is as I don’t want to offend the owner. Some people can be funny about these things.”
So the most significant censorship of all seems to be from within. Why is that happening? Is it part of our programming? It often starts in childhood when you may have been told not to ask silly questions or you’re laughed at, or you may have been challenged at school for being too cheeky (usually for asking a question the teacher didn’t like or wasn’t prepared to answer honestly) or was that just me, you may have felt the need to adapt your thoughts and feelings to fit into a friendship group, or to become aligned with the views of your partner in order to stay in a relationship.
Of course, there are certain things that nobody wants to hear, such as aggressive hate-speech of any kind. However, if people turn away from it, the perpetrator won’t have the drama they are seeking, nor will they have the audience they desire. Sometimes provocation is the purpose; it is another form of distraction away from genuine discourse and the only way to stop it is to say no to anything that isn’t aligned with your values and walk away.
The media is programming us to hate the haters, segregate and fear each other. The most powerful and effective response is to stand in our truth and say no to the drama, it really is that simple. Or at least it would be if the drama wasn’t played out again and again and again on our televisions, radios, newspapers, and yes, even our podcasts.
The invitation of my words is to become aware of where you censor yourself and to what degree. What are the things you really want to say, but don’t? If your boss asks you to complete a task within a timeframe that you don’t believe is possible, do you speak your truth? If not, why not? If your partner wants to do something and you really don’t, do you speak your truth? If not, why not? If someone in your life is trying to censor you or dismiss what you say (also known as control), is that working for you?
It is only when you become aware and step into that fear (big or small), do you really start to get to know yourself, what you truly want and speak your truth from the highest vision of yourself and others. Don’t be afraid of fear - look it straight in the eye, take a small step to letting it go and be authentically you, no matter what.
Authenticity is everything.
Much love
Pauline