imagine if… you’re 1000 days sober
It wasn’t that I stopped drinking, alcohol left me.
It wasn’t that I stopped drinking, alcohol left me. I’d been saying for ages that I wanted to look at my relationship with alcohol. I felt that I had associations with certain people or events that I believed wouldn’t be as fun if alcohol wasn’t involved and that didn’t sit well with me. I decided to experience life for 3 months without drinking alcohol.
At first it was strange, but it felt like a challenge. People do look at you with a question when you say you’re not drinking – you’re either an alcoholic (nope), pregnant (impossible) or maybe a bit boring (definitely not), although someone did say to me “you’re not as much fun when you’re not drinking”, to which I replied, “I think you’ll find you were laughing at me, not with me”.
I’d say I was pretty ‘normal’ in the drinking department. I’d have the odd drink during the week if I went out and a bottle of wine, or two at the weekend, depending on where I was going. I would drink more at parties, festivals or if I was with people who drank a lot, I would get pissed and suffer the next day. Going for a lovely meal would always mean a very nice bottle of wine too. Why wouldn’t you….?
So, for 3 months I went to gigs, meals, parties, and pubs and didn’t touch a drop. It wasn’t that difficult, and I learned a lot. I left parties when people started to repeat things and fall about. I couldn’t dance to music that I didn’t like. Sometimes I’d look at a cool glass of wine on the table next to me and think, “that looks lovely, I want one”. Then I caught the thought, questioned it and it was clear that I didn’t want to drink the contents, it was just a thought that I’d associated with having fun. I felt lighter energetically and had lots more energy physically.
“The most significant change I experienced is something that I cannot describe easily and you’d have to experience it to know for yourself.”
I’d been told by a bio resonance practitioner that my body was struggling with processing wine and grapes and my first response was (with a look of horror), “so are you saying I shouldn’t drink at all!!” With a wry smile she said, “well if you must, drink champagne and gin”, which cheered me up no end! I decided after my 3 months of sobriety that I wouldn’t drink wine, just gin and champagne. That went well and I was definitely drinking less, but then I went to an event that only had wine on offer. I drank it and felt like shit.
Over the next few weeks, I kept feeling that I wanted to feel the same as I did when I wasn’t drinking and if there’s one word that describes it, it’s CLEAR. Fuzziness fell away in all sorts of interesting ways.
The most significant change I experienced is something that I cannot describe easily and you’d have to experience it to know for yourself. It is clarity in so many areas of life and it’s easier to be real, and generally be so much more aware. I cannot do anything that I don’t want to do now, it’s that simple and it’s much more obvious what is working for me and what is not. I’m shedding what does not resonate with me.
I experience relationships differently and over time some old friends have left and new friends have appeared. There is depth, a high level of intimacy and clarity. It’s easier to say difficult things – in fact, it isn’t an option not to. Although the truth is hard to say sometimes, it lurks underneath anyway and with compassion and acceptance, it really is the only way.
I do more different things and explore. I have loads of fun and remember all of it.
I eat less, although probably a bit more chocolate, but that’s OK, it’s high quality! Crisps and nibbles are pretty much a thing of the past.
I’ve lost 1 stone in weight and my skin is clearer – am I imagining it, or have a few wrinkles disappeared??
I’m curiously finding new ways to help my body be the best it can be through food, drink, exercise, relaxation, and meditation. I feel fitter and stronger at 56 than I did at 36 and I look younger!
I experience life very differently and best of all, I love me for who I am, perfectly imperfect. I love spending time on my own and really cherish it. I’ve been single for a couple of years, and it’s been the most significant time of personal growth for me - emotionally, physically, mentally and spiritually. The limiting beliefs keep on falling away and I know that I can do anything I want. If you make space, new people and experiences come in…
I’ve never said I’ll never drink alcohol again; the days go by, and it just doesn’t happen. Why would I…?
Update - October 2023
It’s now been nearly 5 years since alcohol became less important and it is one of the most significant changes, that has made the biggest difference, to my experience of life. There’s more clarity, life gets even more interesting and the veils of illusion, that we all experience, keep on falling away.
I enjoy being with people at the beginning of the evening or at a party. Alcohol is a great loosener and people generally are excited to see each other. People say things that they wouldn’t normally and ask questions that, in sobriety, are often suppressed for fear of offending someone. Conversations are, therefore, much more interesting and a deeper, often invisible, part of someone is brought to the surface. People are more curious, open and dancing seems so much appealing. That’s the bit I really love. Then comes the point where the ‘spirit’ starts to leave, the eyes glaze over as if there’s nobody home and words are repeated – that’s when it’s definitely time for me to leave.
Another red flag is if I’m out and find myself wanting to drink alcohol, I know that it is time for me to go. I’ll hear things like, I’m bored, this conversation is full of drama, or it just doesn’t feel right. Whatever the reason, I know it’s out of alignment with who I am and so I leave.
As the craziness of this world keeps on coming to the surface for everyone to see, I know that the time is coming when we won’t need alcohol to dim our light, because that is what it does. We won’t need alcohol to open our hearts and speak our truth. We won’t need alcohol to be brave. We won’t need alcohol to dance like nobody is watching.
My words and articles are always an invitation, so ‘shine like the diamond you are’.
Much love
Pauline