imagine if… you have more time

imagine if… you have more time

How often do you hear yourself saying, “I would really love to do that, but I just don’t have time”.  “I wish I had more time, but I’ve got so much to do.”  “They don’t realise how much time this is taking to do.”  “There just isn’t enough time in the day”… & yet we all have 24 hours in each day, so where does time go?  In my experience of coaching, this is one of the most used reasons for not doing something and it’s always about something else.  

My lovely Dad came to stay with me recently and I noticed how many times he said things like, “I’d love to visit Jim, but I don’t have enough time”, or “eee love (we are from Lancashire!) you haven’t got much time have you”, or “we’d better hurry up, there isn’t much time”.  Being busy and getting things done in my family was very important and so I believed, there’s never enough time. 

So, the next time you notice yourself saying, I haven’t got time, it’s an opportunity to stop, find quiet and stillness and ask yourself, ‘what’s the real question’?

The Dalai Lama said, “we are human beings, not human doings” and yet we often try to do as much as we possibly can in one day.  In trying to fit so much in, the quality of the ‘doing’ and our relationships with others, can be affected and more importantly, the pressure we put on ourselves is felt in many different ways. Constantly ‘doing’ can also be a form of numbing and it certainly was one of mine.  I would busy myself all day, unaware of the fact that it was a way of not feeling.

So, the next time you notice yourself saying, I haven’t got time, it’s an opportunity to stop, find quiet and stillness and ask yourself, ‘what’s the real question’?  It might be; ‘do I want my boss to like me’, ‘do I find it hard to say no & if I did, would they not like me’; ‘do I put pressure on myself to compete or compare with others’; ‘am I wishing that my life was different’; ‘do I believe things about myself that are just not true’?  The last question is the most interesting question of all. 

If you believe that you are; the responsible one, the intelligent one, the successful one, the underachiever, the stupid one, the controller, the friendly one, the happy one, or the perfect one, none of that is true! How can you be those things all of the time? In questioning areas of your perceived identity that you believe, maybe because you were told often as a child or you took on that identity to feel safe, it is possible to reconnect with your true nature and explore what works for you in life and what doesn’t. 

You’ll know when you get the feeling that something is off, or just doesn’t feel right for you and that is an invitation to ask, ‘is this thought really true’?  It takes courage to bring the real question into the light and you will get an answer for you and only you.  It may not always be well received by others in your life, ast it may mean that you stop trying to rescue or stop trying to get people to like you by doing everything for them.  Undoubtedly, it will change the quality of life and through that, you will experience more joy and peace in your life.  When we are true to who we are, we are more able to be of service to others and live a life unlimited.

Pauline Buckley

October 2020